Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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