Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
