I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
