I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
