whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
