A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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