Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
