Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
