"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm always down for nudity.
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