I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
