Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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