when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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