i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
