I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
