On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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