i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
