2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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