i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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