No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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