4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
