toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
