it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
