My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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