Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
