it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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