I smell stomach acid.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
