Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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