Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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