I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
