I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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