it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
