sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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