conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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