how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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