I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
