and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
