Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
