I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
