So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
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Do I have a choice?
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I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
