my room smells like sperm. sweet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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