Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
