and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
