I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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