I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
