this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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