Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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