If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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