Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
