You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
