Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We had to coat check the pizza.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
